JokEc2 - More Jokes about Economists and Economics

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Here are ten ways to tell you might be sitting next to an economist:

  1. He refuses to listen to the safety announcement because “in the long run, we’re all dead”
  2. He keeps telling you that “there is no such thing” as a “complimentary refreshment service”
  3. He avoids prolonged conversation with you because he has a “rational expectation” that you’re an idiot since you chose the middle seat
  4. But he offers to trade his aisle seat for yours in a competitive auction with the woman sitting behind you
  5. He plonks his elbow on the arm rest because space has a “higher marginal utility” for him than for you
  6. When he elbows you in the ribs, he says he is simply trying to “nudge” you into better behaviour
  7. When he opens the overhead locker, a copy of Thomas Piketty’s “Capital in the 21st century” falls out and hits you on the head
  8. But then he uses the book as a footrest
  9. He only relaxes when the plane reaches 35,000 feet because then it’s in “general equilibrium”
  10. Spends all the flight scribbling Greek letters into a notebook. Turns out it’s not a series of equations; he’s part of the IMF negotiating team en route to Athens.
  11. Adds an extra point to a “top 10 list” because he believes in “quantitative reasoning”

The economist’s standard reply after hearing positive results from some pragmatic policy initiative:
“That’s all well and good in practice. Let’s see how it works in theory.”

An economist and a friend were visiting the zoo. They stopped by the tiger cage, and the friend remarked that they looked so sweet, just like house cats. The economist said, “Why don’t you just reach in the cage and pet them? It will be okay.”
The friend reached in, and one of the tigers attacked and tore his arm off.
“Why did you tell me it would be okay?”
The economist just shrugged. “My model assumed the tiger wouldn’t bite.”

“Economists put decimal points in their forecasts to show that they have a sense of humour” — William Gilmore Simms

Psychologists are starting to use economists instead of rats in their experiments, for three reasons:

  1. There are more economists available.
  2. They will work for less.
  3. There are some things rats won’t do.